Tuesday, February 19, 2013

when I met Adam


sunset nice bench n person
Originally uploaded by ander80.

I like work. I used to hate going to school and high school. I loved university, but thats because I was living on my own, well with my boyfriend Adam. I met him on the 27th of September, 1999. It was my first day in Wales, Aberystwyth. I was so depressed after arriving into my student residence. I didn't speak English that well, so I knew it would be hard to adapt. I was very lucky to meet Adam on my first day. I remembered when I came to the kitchen and I saw the rest of the housemates and the next door neighbours around the table. It was quite intimidating. Adam belonged to the "next door" lot. This guy introduced me to everyone, but I only remember hearing "Adams" name. I was standing up eating some sardines from a tin(I know, how odd!) so everyone else was sitting down, staring at me while I stood there. I did my usual talking and listening politely, I am rude when you get to know me. What I will always remember is the times I caught him looking at me, and how embarrassed he looked when I caught him, I just thought he was looking at me because there wasn't anyone else in front of him. The funniest is that he also caught me looking at him, but neither of us thought that we fancied each other.

We decided to go out drinking that night into town. It was a 20 minute walk down the hill. The halls were situated next to the University of Wales, Aberystwyth, in Pentre Jane Morgan. Adam was in front of me alone walking, the others were in pairs, I decided to speak to him as it seemed silly not to, also I wasn't nervous because I didn't think he was gay. He tells me now that he was very nervous and very shy as he fancied me straight away.

We went into the pub, drank a quarter of a pint, and I was already tipsy! Then my neurons started to wake up, I looked at Adam (he was sitting at the other end of the table, we were around 9 together). I saw him smoking the cigarette and then it's when I thought for the first time, "is he?!, no, but he looks so straight!" I got drunker and Adam offered me a drink.

I joked: are you trying to get me drunk? to what he replied: me?, nooo! (he had an embarrassed face) and this is when my neurons kicked for the second time. (he cant be gay? But maybe he is?!).



By the time we got to the student village we were drank. We had a kitchen party and then the question popped out from one the housemates: Do you like girls or boys? I was so nervous that I thought he may punch me, so I smartly said: Both! (how stupid! because bisexual people don't get punch!) by the way, I am a homo.

Suddenly I had Adam all over me, but I was still a bit wary, so I pushed him away, he grabbed back, I tried to push him away again, but then I "noticed" he liked boys. So that's how we met, I was barely for 6 hours in my new home for the following 4 years, and I met him! I love him so much. We have been living together since then, as I slept in his room since the first day. We moved into our studio in the town in the 2nd year. I got really nice memories of my university years. That's why I don't mind University.

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Big Gay Wed that I didnt expect

(Wrote this while on honeymoon, just got round to uploading it)

The morning of the 26 September started with church bells sounds, coming from the iphone’s alarm. It added a flavour of what was to be expected 5 hours later. Adam couldn’t sleep well with the nerves, so he was up since 7am. I, on the other hand, still exhausted from the continuous weekday shopping and the loading the stuff onto the boat the day before, slept until well after the 3rd snooze.
-Just before leaving home-

Up I was, a bit zombied, but up. We went through another list, which was titled, things to take before leaving the house. Prepared everything and off we went. We had decided to make it more romantic, to change at our respective parents hotel. We had seen each other’s wed suit as we had to coordinate them, but we still wanted to arrive separately in a London black cab. We left the house, took some shy photos of both us in front of the house and we went to the tube. Once in the tube, with all the bags on top of us, and after arriving at the next stop from our house, I asked Adam: ‘Do you have my suit?”

Adam: “I have got mine, why would I have yours?!”
Me: “oh my god, I left it at home!!!”

I shut out the carriage and took the next tube home. This is such a cliché, kept thinking, but too funny at the same time. I looked at the clock, and realised I had to speed things up, so once I arrived home, I called a taxi straight to Victoria, where my family were staying. The traffic was getting worse as we got closer to the centre, and suddenly I spotted some of my family walking to the tube, I whistled at them, they shouted at me where the hell I had been, and then the taxi dropped me off at the hotel. The taxi driver spoke broken English, and had asked me why was I so rushed before.

I am getting married in 1 hour and a half. He congratulated me and my soon to be wife, I corrected him twice, but either he didn’t understand me or was too embarrassed to acknowledge that a homo next to him was about to get civil partnered. I didn’t care, I paid, he shook my hand and I ran inside. I got there, and my mum still in her knickers laying on the bed. I put the iphone’s music on and started getting dressed. Mum started dancing while she moaned about me having white trousers and while she ironed them (still on her knickers). Dad arrived and started taking photos. My parents looked so happy, and that relieved me to be honest. I had been so nervous they wouldn’t like my wed outfit, but it was all great. They looked like kids with new lollipops. *Sigh*.

Told the taxi driver: ‘to Marylebone! You going to a wedding, yes!’, I said, ‘to mine’.

I arrived promptly at 12.15, and soon after my work friends started arriving, one by one, the rest arrived. Adam took longer, but he showed up. He could have taken the next Victoria train to Brighton, but no, he was there with me. It all became so surreal, we were getting married. That’s for straighties, not us! After many prewed photos after, we headed upstairs. The choir that Adam had organised with an excolleague of his, started playing ‘The marriage’ by X. All the guests were waiting inside, we held back until the registrar appeared from the end of the corridor like a movie. The choir just finished as she arrived, and we then went it. We were so emotional, so nervous.

-Polaroid moment, film expired on the 30th September-

I was shy, scared, embarrassed and proud that I would start sobbing while repeating my vows;

"I Ander pledge to share my life openly with Adam promise to cherish and tenderly care for you, to honour and encourage you.

I will respect you as an individual and be true to you through good times and bad. To these things I give my word.


Adam this ring is a token of my abiding love and a sign of the promise I make to you today."


-Signing to be husbands-

Adam’s voice did start shaking, he was getting very emotional, all I could think was, please please let me finish my vows then drop a tear or two, not in between. I was getting more nervous, so when my turn arrived, I was trying to remember what the registrar was saying, and even though at one point I thought I was not going to make it, everything went fine, except…err… I was meant to say …and bad times (as above), but I kinda forgot, the registrar repeated it twice to me! Many guests started laughing. It looked like I struggled to say it, not the case, just being forgetful!


The rings were exchanged, and the choir started again, I looked around, and there were some few gaybos and girls, and mothers, and aunts crying their eyes off! Well, not exactly, but they did need a tissue or two. After everything was done, the choir sang: ‘Good times’ by Queen. Many started laughing, it was a perfect ending to such lawful ceremony.

-The parents of the grooms-

Photos were taken, and I directed the guests to the pub, in York street, The Temperence, which was completely empty when we arrived. It was so sunny that many were outside drinking. The guests made the pub looked full. Perfect I thought. I hardly got time to speak to different groups, and more photos later, I started bossing people around to take the taxis back to the boat.

-School friends celebrating-

After many laughs, mobile calls, facebook status checks, and where is he, or she, we arrived at the boat. We spotted the boat from far away as the guys, Fabien and company, had lifted the pink British flag, it made it look so GAY! Loved it. The guests waited and followed us onto the boat, there Fab and Toni all dressed up as lovely women, handed me the cava flute. We posed more in front of the flag, and off we went down the river.

-Up with the Gay flag-

-Dearest friends for the boat reception-

I’ve been in London since 2003, and I have never seen such views in my stay here, the sun was perfect and the boat full of family, guests, uni friends, random friends, Australian friends, new friends and cousins made it so special. Everyone went straight to the outside bits of the boat and admired the views. The rest was just perfect again, sunny, drunken friends, hilarious speeches by Luke (Adams little bro) and Rachael (work friend), food, chupa chups, more wine, Bollinger bottles for us, etc…. the list kept going.

-The sunset Thames river-

The only stressful bit, was, which was our fault, that we didn’t assign the task of clearing the stuff that belonged to us, and I tell you it was so stressful to end up the boat party like that, clearing dishes with our wedding suits. Adam had to take everything home in his dad’s car, he took forever. I went straight to Heaven, there was no queue to get in, we partied like animals. BUT, Lander and other school friends were not allowed in, as they came late so the queue was massive. Apparently they went back to their hostal to get new shoes for clubbing, as one of our friends from Madrid, had thru a girls shoes overboard onto the Thames river, and she demanded that his shoes went swimming too, so he did!

-Moment where Carlos steals the shoes-

Adam arrived late, but I had asked the bouncer to please let him in, as we had just got married, and he was on his own, they allowed him, and a small group of us, including, John, Nora, Sofia, Gabby, Laura, Rachael, Thomas, and Matthew stayed til very late. Adam and me took a taxi home and arrived at 6am.

Next day, or following hours, I woke up at 10am, with a very fast heart beat, I was so nervous, I couldn’t remember much, everything kept coming back slowly, like slow amnesia. Where are the passports, and the money we were given? And the SLR camera? And what happened to my mum? What shoes? The cupcakes? Why do we have industrial size kitchen sauce pans in the spare bedroom? Did we get married? Oh my god, AM I YOUR HUSBBY NOW?

-Sunset near the Thames Barrier-

It all came back very slowly, but it did, I had only lost my sunglasses. We also have the whole freezer full of wedding leftovers for the next 4 months, anyone for a posthoneymoon dinner party at ours?

-Lick my cupcake?-

-Party!-

I am now writing this on the beach in the middle of the Indian Ocean, Maldives, with the moonlight, the breeze helping my burnt skins parts. This island is tiny and there are only a handful of people around. It so relaxing here, as there is nothing to do apart from swimming, reading, having sex, eating, the odd facebook check, and sleeping. I have been sleeping for the lack of it from these past two weeks. I can’t say it wasn’t stressful, as you know from my countdown, but it was definitely WORTH it.

-The night party version!-

Nite nite from Madoogali, Maldives.

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